James Joyce | Ulysses | 1922

Dear Leopold Bloom,

I'm sure you're good at the newspaper ad sales thing. Growth business for sure. But wouldn't it be nice to work with Molly? Spend all day together, bond, keep track of her, if you know what I mean? And what are you guys really good at? That's right: I'm thinking amateur porn site. You guys going at it, with those crappy Irish songs you guys like in the background to make it seem more homemade and raw. Maybe some leftover organ meat sitting on a plate in the corner. Use your imagination. I'm just saying: You need a change, man.

Sincerely,
Joel Stein