Dear Bloom,
Remember when you mistook yourself for the blood of the lamb? The arrogance! And how inappropriate, given your background. When I was in Ireland, years ago, I didn't know if there were any Jews there. I mean before I went. I was in a restaurant the first night and a guy next to me was speaking something I didn't understand. "Gaelic?" I said. He shook his head and said "Hebrew." Later on I got with a girl who worked in the restaurant. She was Catholic. She kept telling me about her savior and wouldn't stop even while we were in the throes of it. She told me about the blood of the lamb and I told her about you and then we did it again.
Sincerely,
Peter Ritchie