Jimmy Breslin | The Gang That Couldn't Shoot Straight | 1969

Dear Big Jelly Catalano,

You are my hero. I have seen people here writing letters to Atticus Finch and Harry Potter, saying how great they are because they have morals and talents and because they are good people who are good to other people. But you are my hero because you weigh more than four hundred pounds, eat in the nude, and get the girls two at a time. That is a role model, because it teaches me that if you just put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.

Sincerely,
Allen Peralta