William Shakespeare | King Lear | 1605

Dear Goneril,

I always thought you had the ugliest name. Oh, and the ugliest character. You told your father that you loved him more than words can say. Leo Sayer said that same thing, but he didn't go on to betray his father and poison his sister, at least as far as I know. I am no expert on Leo Sayer. When I was a kid, I saw a version of your life where you were played by Rosalind Cash, the great African-American actress. You want to hear something strange? She has almost the same name as Rosanne Cash, and both of them had fathers named John Cash. Rosalind's was a famous army man. Rosanne's was a famous singer. I digress. In that version, the role of your father was played by James Earl Jones, who also played Luke Skywalker's father. I think you are more evil than Darth Vader.

I Loves Me Some Pop-Culture Cross-Referencing,
Mario